Here I sit...resting with a air cast boot on my foot. After seeing my podiatrist on Monday, he recommended PT or a boot for a month to see if that would take care of the soreness and range of motion issues from my ankle injury. After going back and forth in my mind, I chose the boot. I'm supposed to heat/ice every evening, use a topical anti-inflammatory and do non-weight bearing exercises.
I feel like I should have some words to say about the whole thing. But my feelings are so mixed. Guilt over not resting before now and over-doing it that got me here. Disgust at getting older and taking longer to heal. Thankful for insurance and access to health care. Restless because sitting is not what I do best. Relieved that this really isn't THAT bad. Thankful that I am not homebound. I am allowed to drive (without the boot). So, we won't have to really cancel our regular things. I just have to get places early enough to put my boot off and on. I'm definitely cautious about adding things to our schedule or volunteering blindly for things I would have said "yes" in a heartbeat before.
I really have two choices: sit around and feel sorry for myself, or do my best to make this time of extra rest-- a time where God can change me. A time where I can connect deeper with what His will for me is. A time to connect with my husband and kids. A time to gain balance and reflect.
So, I took a friend up on her offer to let me swim in her pool. My husband offered to go grocery shopping for me and I am making the list for him. I'm learning to ask when I need help. That is a hard lesson indeed.
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Hebrews 12:7-13
