I've been struggling a bit lately---sometimes it's hard to separate the physical from the emotional from the spiritual. To be honest, I'm a little tired of writing about these things and feel like these "solemn" posts are a bit too much for this home school- family blog. But I don't want to always post only those things in my life that show how good of a mom, Christian, wife, home schooler and person I am. I strive to be real over being a popular read.
I feel like my "appetites" have gotten out of control. I crave the things that are doing damage to me in one way or another. Too much food, too much sugar, picking up snacks or to go foods, too much computer/facebook/pinterest/surfing time, too much internet TV and movies, too much "I want to be by myself time", too much clutter ....well, you get the picture. I've gained weight and don't really feel enthusiastic about doing things of quality, it's much too easy to just get by. I crave too little of the things of God. I can mindlessly eat and watch things, but when it comes to the things of the spirit...I tire easily and often give up too easily in my pursuit of them.
I know I've been dealing with some "down in the dumps" in regards to the parole hearing that just happened last week. Even though the outcome was great...it still brings up lots of sad emotions. When you're "down" things get out of sinc, and your focus goes more inward. I'm doing what I need to do---taking care of my family, keeping up with friends and obligations, etc. I'm just not satisfied with this status quo existence. This life of feeding the wrong appetites.
Then I hear the voices that say...what good are you as a Christian? You do all these things and don't do all these things. What makes you different from someone with no faith in God at all? The voices that make me feel like why bother-you'll never get it right. Does it really matter?
YES, it does matter. There is more to this life than overindulgence...better things, things of quality, things that at the end of the day really do matter.
So, what do I/you do? I/You quit overfeeding the appetites that send us down those paths of guilt, self-indulgence and begin again to let God feed you and help you hunger and thirst for Him. How do we hunger for God when we are so full of the world? We can't!
How is my life different because I'm a Christian? I wrestle with this sometimes. I want others to see how God has made a difference in my life...but how can I do that when I'm struggling with things? I think the struggles and how we deal with them show the difference the most. We show that we are real people with real struggles seeking a real God who loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine. My life is different because I refuse to give up and give in to this flesh that wars against my spirit. God gave his Son so that we could be free- in this life and for all eternity. Abundant life is what I'm striving for...sometimes I get off track, but I'm not going to give up. I'm also being reminded that: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2:8-9 There is One greater than I am helping me and that promises He'll never leave me alone.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have
life and have it abundantly."
John 10:10
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men
stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will
walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31
Isaiah 40:30-31
Abundant appetites vs. abundant life......LIFE, please!
